Been there

I went through a heavy drinking phase in my life. And it was just that - a phase. Sure, I still drink, sometimes even to excess. But, after I eventually survived the hell that I drank to ignore and escape, I no longer needed to be that person. I no longer wanted to be that person. She was fun up to a point. Then she was just a pain in the ass, a joke, a hassle. I'm lucky I had great friends who loved me enough to stand by me when I acted that way. I'm sure I was a handful to say the least. I just don't understand the desire to be that person all the time although I see people like that a lot. Some of them are going through a difficult time in their life like I was. Others seem to have chosen this as a way of life. They're the ones I don't understand. When I was like that, I still woke up feeling horrified and humiliated knowing the things I'd said and done, or worse, not knowing. For me, there was nothing worse than waking up and not remembering the night before. That feeling was not something I wanted to repeat on a regular basis. Who wants to be that person? I'd rather be aware of my life.